you know what's funny?

First off that I'm not here to bitch today.
I bet you guys think that's pretty damn amusing and amazing.

But really, I was just thinking about how the first couple weeks that Rex and I were together I didn't really know whether or not I really wanted to be with him. Yeah he was this really really REALLY sweet guy but he, well he was kind of a dork, not that it's a bad thing, I mean hell, I'm a dork but there were just some things about him that i didn't know if I could over look or get past or whatever. The funny thing is that those things have either just gone away or I've just gotten so accustom to them that I don't even notice, I think a lot of it had to be him being nervous around my friends/ roommates. You know, wanting to make sure he got their approval. I guess. But I think back to who he was then (and who I was then) and who we are now and it's so funny to think how different we were apart and as a couple. I mean yeah there are the obvious changes, marriage and kids will do that, but just doing a lot of growing up together.
I am so lucky to have him, I can honestly say that I've never been so in love with someone in my life. It's not consuming like the movies and books say "it should be" but at the same point it's better than that. I look at him on a day to day basis and he makes me smile in the silliest ways possible. I look at him and marvel at the fact that I love him so damn much. I can look at him and know that there's no one else I'd rather be with.
We've been together for 4 years and 8 days and you know what's funny? We've only spent 1 day apart. Sure, we've had fights, what couple doesn't. They've never been so bad that we haven't worked things out within the duration of the fight, and it's not who's giving in to the other, we actually compromise over whatever the issue is. They're never these knock down screaming crying fights that I've had with previous boy friends or sig. others. They aren't either one of us is getting our way or we'll drag this fight out. They're more so on the side of heated discussions which rarely happen. I never stay mad for any amount of time. We've never discussed breaking up or had the feeling that we needed to. I couldn't picture my life without him, not even for a second.
I told someone and I think I may have even blogged about it that he makes the crazy in my head quiet. I feel an amazing calm when I'm around him. I'm secure and happy with what we have. I've never been 100% secure with any relationship. There's always been that little question nagging the crazy in me in the back of my head. You know the one that makes you wonder if your sig other has a wandering eye or you know, a wandering appendage. lol. I've never really had that with him.
We weathered such a huge storm when we got together that by all means should have broken us up from the git go. If you look at all the crap we had to deal with in the first year you would have thought we were doomed from the moment we met. From my dad passing away, working in that crazy crazy bar, Ben passing away and the whole load of extra crap that was piled on because of that, his mom being less than fond of me, crazy drunk roommates, his grandfather having a stroke, a miscarriage, and moving not once but 3 times in the first 2 years. That kind of stress can really put a strain on any relationship. But we made it through all of that and we've been truly blessed.
Like I said I look at him every day and I'm amazed that he loves me as much as he does. It amazes me how much I love him in turn. We might not have a lot, when you look at us on paper, you know, financially or materialistically , used cars, used tvs, crappy couch, over priced rent, living pay check to pay check but the one thing we have is a wonderful family -kids, dog, us. And that to me is worth more than I can even begin to express.