I really wish

that people would stop getting mad at me for wanting to do things the right way, the fair way, even if it's someone who doesn't deserve for me to do things the right way. I'm sorry that I'm not a cut throat person, underhanded, or inconsiderate. I just feel ESPECIALLY in this horrible situation with Neoma and custody that I should do my best to find an address to inform Scott no matter how I feel about him or this situation,that I am petitioning for a change in custody because of his lack of consideration or thoughtlessness toward how I might feel about him thinking he can do what ever he wants with OUR daughter. I do think it's right for me to find somewhere to send him a subpoena to the hearing because I do owe it to Neoma to be able to find a happy peaceful solution to this situation. The purpose of this hearing is for a judge to decide who she should live with not Scott's mom. It's to make sure that there is court ordered visitation with either parent, so that no one can just disappear with Neoma and not consider the feelings of the other parent. Which is exactly what Scott is trying to do but isn't going to succeed in doing. It's so he CANT just take her to North Carolina and disappear and I don't see my girl again. It's so that even if a judge thinks Neoma should be with Scott, he HAS to make sure to get her to me for our regular visits and CANT just decide that he is going to punish me or her by withholding visits. Am I a nervous wreck about this? Sure I am. Am I worried that all of this is coming at the worst time possible with my not doing so hot and my doctor telling me to avoid stress? You bet. Am I incredibly concerned that I wont be permitted to make these trips because of my current health? Sure. Am I going to pretend to be someone I'm not and go after Scott in an unfair way by not informing him of my petition to the court like he neglected to inform me that he moved to NC and left our daughter in the care of his aunt and mother? No I'm upset but I dont think I should compromise who I am and how I feel so that other people think I'm doing this the best way I should. That's not how things work with me and I wouldn't feel good going about them that way at all. I am not the best person in the world but I try to be a good person. Ya know?