The Highs and the lows

Ok I haven't blogged for a while. The good points of this year so far: I started seeing a therapist, not just my shrink, she is fantastic, I look forward to sessions with her. Rex is as awesome as ever. Baby is growing right on schedule. 4 months doesn't seem that far away now. I have an ultrasound tomorrow afternoon. I've got my blood sugar under control which of course is always good. I'm starting to look forward to moving to Zanesville, mostly for the decrease in stress due to money. I've found a few houses there that obviously wont be available when we move but gives me a good idea of what rent will be like there. Cheap. 3 bedroom houses are like 675 so I would imagine I'll be able to find a 4 bedroom for around 750. This would be amazing, that means just in rent we will be saving 550 a month. that's nothing to turn my nose at. This means I can get our bills all caught up, get back on track with school, which I'm going to have to take a break just to focus on becoming mentally ok. I will probably be able to go to classes next year , like actually go because living in Zanesville we will have people that can watch the boys so that I can do these things. Ethan is getting so big, right now his favorite answers to everything are " I know" , " Oh my" and " What?" good times.
He is also sleeping in his big boy bed which is wonderful.
The lows: I am going to have to take Scott to court to get custody of Neoma because he thinks he's going to move her to North Carolina. North Carolina, that lazy bastard can't even bring her to the half way point when I have my time with her, where in his head does he think it's ok to just keep her from me all the way in North Carolina? Not to mention the fact that he wants to get back together with this girl , the one he left me for( that's not my issue with her) she seems to think the world owes her something, she is a raging bitch who when Neoma was 3 had her calling her mommy, who would get psychotic when Neoma would call me mommy, why I mean after all I am her mom, but because I had something psycho girl wanted. Which leads me to the lows with Neoma, I have to take her to see a shrink and soon, she is lying to me A LOT. about stupid things, she acts weird, not like 13 year old weird but just not right like something is messing with her head and with a family history on either side with depression and bi polar disorder, this is very concerning. I think she needs to be here, in a stable environment with constant supervision and to be around her siblings. I'm half tempted to have my mom call childrens protective services and report scott for his pot smoking around Neoma. I know you're probably wondering why I can't but something stops me from being able to do so. I don't know what. He doesn't hide it from her , he smokes around her, he talks about drugs around her. What kind of parent does that? He told her the other day that he was sure that Tristan was going to be gay when he got older. First off, who says that to their daughter about her brother? Who says that to a 13 year old period? And if Tristan is, which I don't see at all, who cares???? I am not going to love him or any of my kids any less whether they are gay, straight or bi. These people disgust me .

I think I need to blog a little more because my god, I think it helps to get it out of my head. I have a ton of school work to do today. Discussion questions and a rough draft for a research paper.